TWINED Read online

  Connie didn’t get to talk about that. She wasn’t good enough. I didn’t even get to talk about it and I lived it. So if I didn’t get to, she didn’t either and that was fact.

  But I calmed myself down. It must have taken some serious time to chill out because she and her friends were already walking into the school building by the time I was done acting like a bull ready to charge at her matador. Prajna had been holding the door open for me, but when Connie and the others walked towards her Prajna backed away and let the door close right in front of them. I saw Connie glare at her.

  “Good morning, whore whom I hate,” Prajna said with a smile.

  Connie just shook her head and walked in, opening the door herself. And I just grinned a little at Prajna. At least someone at this school had my back.

  But that’s when weird thing number two happened today. And I would have to take back everything I said about Rowan High being boring after this one. Because one of Connie’s friends, a redheaded cheerleader to her right, turned behind to look at me and what I saw next would no doubt haunt me for a long time.

  Her face… distorted. I swear to God her jaw grew larger and her mouth seemed to grow fangs almost. And her eyes… her eyes, I swear they glowed as she glared at me. Her pupils turned into slivers and turned a yellow color. My face sunk into what must have been horror. And when the redhead saw that I had actually noticed what she looked like, her face reverted back to normal and she grew a look of pride… like she was happy she just scared the shit out of me. Her lips molded into a crooked smile that chilled me deeply.

  And she had succeeded. Whatever just happened… whatever the hell that just was did not register as normal. I had no idea what I just witnessed… I don’t think I even want to know.

  I stared at her and she stared back at me as she walked into the school. My mouth hung open and I was speechless. My heart was pumping faster than ever before. What the hell was that? What was going on?

  “Avalin?” Prajna asked as she stared at me from across the porch, “Are you offended? Since when do you let other people offend you?” she said it like she was shocked.

  I swallowed spit. I nodded and rubbed my shoulder. I was suddenly cold… out of fear I think. “I’m… its fine.” I stuttered.

  “Are you certain? You seem very flustered.”

  I nodded and held my bag as closely to me as possible. I needed to find some way to explain this or something. Maybe I was still dreaming. Either that or I think I just hallucinated. After a pinch to my arm I figured I really was, unfortunately, wide awake. Should I go to the nurse? No. I wasn’t going to verify this. Nothing happened. I’m fine. Nothing went wrong. Just a literal two-faced cheerleader and her friends, that’s it. There were no… nothing was there.

  I cleared my throat and walked through the doors with Prajna, reassuring her that I was indeed all right. But… it wasn’t the first time that something like that had happened to me. Lately I had been seeing some… well… no. No this was stupid.

  There were no monsters. I… I wasn’t crazy. I kept my mother out of my thoughts. I wasn’t like her. I was nothing like her.

  I just had to remind myself that.

  CHAPTER 2: HALVES AND WHOLES, MATCHING SOULS

  “What is the purpose of life?” my teacher asked as he paced back and forth in front of the green dusty chalkboard that took up the classroom’s entire front wall, “Why are we here?”

  He had been prodding us about this for about a half an hour now. He’s asked us the same question over and over again, but just with different wording. I think he was trying to make us think. To feel the question and answer it as if our life depended on it led to the most intelligent of answers, he would say. And I get what he was driving at but at this point? It was just irritating. I’d rather see if that streak of red in my hair matched the color of my red stone necklace.

  But I needed something to distract myself. I was trying to ignore the events of this morning as much as possible. This was helping a bit, despite it being tedious to listen to. But it was better than nothing I suppose. So I kept fidgeting with hopes that I could just wipe those disturbing earlier memories from my head. I just needed to stay calm, stay collected. I tried to memorize all the information I had learned from Prajna about the poets for today’s test. The birth and death dates of Mr. Poe, I think he lived exactly forty years. The tricky question was where those forty years began and ended.

  He walked around again. I looked down at his feet. I expected to see one of those pacing trenches dug into the floor of the classroom. You know the ones in the cartoons where the character erodes the floor away from pacing back and forth constantly? Yeah, I expected him to fall through to the class underneath of us. That would be more exciting at least, but I would feel bad if that really happened. And after this morning, after the freakiness that occurred, it just might. So I should be careful what I wished for.

  But as I moaned to myself slightly and slapped my pencil across my wrist I decided to give his lesson a real thought. The purpose of life, which was the soul-searcher’s anthem question, always eluded me. Unfortunately it also eluded everyone else in this classroom, so the teacher picked on me.

  “Avalin,” Mr. Briggs said as he crossed his arms with a warm smile. “We haven’t heard from you today love. What are your thoughts on today’s topic?” He put his arms out like he was giving us jazz hands, “The purpose of life.”

  He was lucky he came from Manchester. If I didn’t adore him so much for being English then I would have half-assed this answer like I did everything else in school. But I liked Mr. Briggs. He was so very British. You could say my Mick Jagger obsession had something to do with my love of the U.K.

  He was cute in how he never understood when students said dirty things to him and how he always glowed red whenever the topic of sex came up in our lessons. Like I said, I liked him.

  So I brushed back a loose lock of my long dark-brown hair and huffed, “The meaning of life… um…”

  He smiled wider and sniffed, pushing his glasses up to the bridge of his nose, “It’s not a textbook answer. Just tell me what it means to you. What your soul tells you.”

  He cupped his chin with his hand as he awaited my answer. I remember how he had caught heat for saying “soul” so much during his classes. The principal said saying “soul” implies religion, and there was no “religion” in classrooms at Rowan High. Hogwash and an anal over exaggeration, I say. But then again I didn’t have a say did I? The answer was no, considering there was no more saying the pledge of allegiance for Royal Springs. So meaning of life it was.

  I really came up with jack. I couldn’t think of anything to save my life, let alone know what it was about. It was hard to find out what life meant to me. My semi-pale self sunk back into my chair as I pulled the long soft sleeves of my black sweater over my hands. An entire class of eyes was on me… I hated it. I could feel all of them hounding me for an answer.

  You don’t see their glares like I do. They would rather I stay invisible because I was different. I don’t know why they thought that, it’s like they could see something about me that I couldn’t. I didn’t act different or look different. According to the guys I was actually pretty. But that didn’t stop the everyday Rowan High student from giving me those “you practice witchcraft in your spare time” sneers. Trust me, if I practiced witchcraft the first thing I’d would be whip up an invisibility potion and shank all your asses while I had the chance. Oh, by that I mean pull down their pants. Not to stab. I forgot shank could mean either, technically. I was mischievous, not murderous.

  So I smiled a bit as the other students looked at me. I didn’t smile for real, just for show. “I really have no idea Mr. Briggs. I’m not too big into life questions.”

  The class laughed softly as I shrugged my shoulders a bit. The students all turned back around as Mr. Briggs just gave me a happy grin and respond
ed adorably, “It’s alright love.” He looked around to the rest of the class, “Truthfully it’s not a question that any of us can answer and then have that same answer apply to the person sitting next to you. Or in front of you,” he pointed to a couple kids, “Or in back.”

  We laughed again at his funny pointing and this time I truly did grin. He stood back upright and smiled as he took a piece of gum from his pocket and unwrapped it. He always let us chew gum in his class. He said chewing stimulated the brain and the mint made us smarter. I didn’t know exactly how much of that was accurate but when Mr. Briggs said it you didn’t have any choice but to believe him. The way he talked… he could tell me the sky was purple at this very moment and I’d think it true.

  But my gaze eventually found its way over to the large windows that made up the left wall of the classroom. We were on the second floor and it was raining now. I felt closer to the clouds as I toyed with the necklace that I had chosen to wear today. It was just a fake red ruby around silver clips, but it was special to me. It helped me find peace when I needed it most

  I questioned the real meaning of life. I contemplated what we were really here for, what my purpose was. It seemed like everyone around me had some sort of idea where they were going, whether it be college or the army or starting their own business. But I just felt like flotsam in a storm. I was just flowing in the same place as time passed on. I admit it was frustrating… but there was nothing to be done about it.

  However before my mind wandered out of the classroom completely with no hope of ever returning, I heard a voice that pulled me back in again. A voice that sounded so familiar to me, that it shocked me back into reality.

  And this voice said, “The purpose of life is to become complete.”

  I froze in place for a split second. I opened my mouth as my head was quickly turning around to a few seats behind me, the source of where the voice had come from. But I stopped myself mid-turn and just listened. It was a familiar voice. I don’t know why I found it so soothing until I thought of what happened this morning. It was the same voice from the parking lot. The same from before, the deep whisper that called to me and the mysterious message it passed on. It reminded me never to forget or something like that.

  And now this very same voice was speaking within my classroom. But before I tried to think about the voice I reminded myself sternly about my own rules. About how I wasn’t going to pay attention to the weird things that happen to me.

  No. I was not going to think about this. This was not a reality. It wasn’t real and I never saw or heard anything. I was not going to justify this. Before I found out whom the source of the voice was my head quickly snapped back around faster than the car from Back to the Future. This was a figure of my imagination. There was nothing familiar about that voice. Nothing at all… and I just gave myself the whiplash to prove it.

  But Mr. Briggs was interested. The old Brit rubbed his chin and smiled in delight at a pupil actually giving thought to his question. Usually that would be amusing for me, seeing the teacher smile at the occasional feedback. But this time it was terror. I was breathing hard, my heart racing a thousand beats a minute with my chest pumping in and out and in and out and in and out.

  What was going on with me? What was I so afraid of?

  I prayed he didn’t ask the same kid that question. I glanced at Briggs and he kept his arms crossed still rubbing his chin. “An interesting point of view. Can you tell me why you think that’s the point of life?” I moaned to myself quietly as he raised a finger, “Remember there are no wrong answers.”

  I begged my mind to tune it out. But I felt him smile. I don’t know why I could tell he was smiling but this kid was smiling. I felt it like how you feel eyes watching you, it was a sensing thing. He was watching, smiling… possibly at me as I felt his gaze roaming around like spotlights in a prison searching for an escaped convict. It was like he was studying me with his eyes. My own pupils darted around my desk as the hair on the back of my neck tingled. I held shallow breaths as I awaited him to speak.

  “The purpose of life is to find that someone,” he said as my eyes widened. I glanced to my left as I heard him continue smoothly, “The person who completes you.” He stated with confidence and an air of mystery about his voice, “The one who makes you whole.”

  I swallowed again as my fingers found my ruby necklace. I brushed a lock of my hair back out of nervous habit and my hands sunk into my sleeves. His voice was resonating in my head. His voice was literally inside my head at the moment as I repeated his sentences to myself. I had heard this before. Someone I once knew talked like this. Talked about searching for your other half and about how you’re not complete until you find whatever makes you whole. But I couldn’t remember who it was who told me that. All I could focus on was this kid’s damn voice. It was like I was in a trance.

  But I couldn’t lie to myself. There was no denying I had heard this very voice this morning… in the parking lot, alone… with no one else around.

  How was this happening?

  Maybe I was being overdramatic. Maybe I was imagining this whole thing. But one part of me said I shouldn’t dare look at this kid’s face. Another part of me urged me to just take a peek. It screamed at me to. It begged me to. It made my skin itch. And at this point I began to panic. This voice seemed like home to me. It was like a familiar nursery rhyme you used to hear as a child and that warm sensation that surges through you when you hear it again when you’re older.

  What was going on?

  Mr. Briggs nodded and puckered out his lips, “I can see how that would be important mister…” he trailed off as he tried to remember this boy’s name. Briggs was horrible with names. And there was a pause as I listened intently. I wanted to hear it. I wanted to hear his name.

  Say it. Say your name.

  I felt the smile again, “Well, I think you were right Mr. Briggs.” He replied, “I think that my meaning of life means something a little bit different to you…”

  I bit my tongue as my fingers pressed together. My foot kept tapping nervously as I started drawing the attention of Connie. I noticed that briefly. But at the time she didn’t even exist to me. She was just hollow space. Everyone was; everything but this boy’s voice and the beating of my own heart.

  I wanted to know his name. I needed to hear his name like I needed the air, like I needed water. I had to hear it to move on.

  And the boy breathed in, “It’s Albert, by the way.”

  Briggs laughed, “Ah, that’s the name.”

  The boy called Albert laughed as well, “Just try not to forget.”

  My eyes widened.

  Forget.

  “Don’t ever forget.”

  I couldn’t take it anymore, I felt like I was going to implode. I raised my hand and it shot into the air. I almost had to physically keep my neck from turning so that I wouldn’t look at the guy’s face. Every kid in the room looked at me like I was a freak. And I probably fit that definition with the way I was fidgeting and messing with myself, how I was acting out of my mind. But I couldn’t stop it. Something was going on in my head that was driving me nuts all because this kid was just speaking.

  Mr. Briggs looked at me strangely. Confused, yet with concern however, he said, “Yes?” He stood straighter as he raised his glasses. “Avalin dear, what’s wrong?”

  “Nurse,” I almost burped out. “I need… can I go to the nurse? Now? Please?” I begged.

  The teacher didn’t question. He nodded and whispered, “Yes… yes of course.” And that’s all I needed. I packed up my bag and stuffed everything I could in there like lightning and whipped it around my shoulder. I walked to the exit on the far side of the room away from the classmates behind me. I didn’t want to look at his face on the way out. But I could feel him watching me along with everyone else in the room. I didn’t want to do anything except get the
hell out of there. I practically ran for the door and opened it quickly, exiting the room with a sharp shut behind me. I left everyone in Mr. Briggs’ class dumbfounded at what was going on.

  Connie would scoff while I was gone, “What a freaky bitch.”

  CHAPTER 3: FRIEND OR FOE, MENTAL WOE

  I ran down the hallway with my bag behind me. I wasn’t lying at least. I really was going to the nurse. I turned down two halls and ran down a set of steps. A teacher yelled at me to slow down but I didn’t listen. I didn’t care even a miniscule ounce. My heart was fluttering like angry moths around a light, spastic and relentless. I couldn’t see straight. It was like I was having a panic attack. My pulse had a hard time picking a beating pattern. It felt like a hiccup in my chest. Was I having an attack? Was I really? I had no idea. I needed to find out.

  I ran down to the med section. I practically toppled over some kids heading to their next class and heard quite a few names for it. But I felt relief wash over me as I saw the entrance to the nurse’s office. I begged for no one but Ms. Gray to be inside as I opened the door with a rapid twist of the knob.

  I barreled in, which took Ms. Gray by surprise as she looked up quickly from her papers. Her desk was right near the door so the wind knocked a few of her several knickknacks off her computer monitor. I glanced at a few pamphlets on teen pregnancy that caught my eye. Lovely. Gray stared at me with the same look Briggs gave me; confusion, yet concern.

  She blinked a few times as her poofy caramel hair waved a bit, “Honey what’s wrong?”

  I was so happy we were alone. “Ms. Gray… I need to ask you about something really important,” I said as my words couldn’t keep up with my breathing.

  The nurse swiveled out of her chair and stood up. She ushered for me to close the door and I did, adjusting my bag and folding my arms. My shoulders rose slightly as I felt the comfort of the closed door against my back. Ms. Gray walked in front of me and rubbed my arm gently. I felt the safety of her touch and I was able to relax a little.